Dear Agony
by britski87
Summary: One-shot of Stefan's hallucinations about Elena while he is drowning in the quarry


**Hi, so this is my first fanfiction, like ever. And Stefan is my favorite character, so I figured my first story should be about him.****I wrote this the way I did because I was so freaking mad at the writers for ending Season 4 this way because I feel like Stefan was the last person to deserve it. So I decided to take out my emotions by writing and here we are. Like I said, my first fic ever, so please bear with me here. xx**

* * *

_Light the way and let me go_

_Take the time to take my breath_

_I will end where I began_

_..._

He wanted to touch her.

All he wanted was to reach out and stroke her face, run his fingers through her hair, kiss her, be with her, **love** her.

But she wouldn't let him.

They were lying next to each other on Stefan's bed, not touching at all. Only gazing at each other, never speaking. Every time Stefan tried to reach her, she shied away from him.

It felt like they had been laying there forever, but the daylight and light breeze coming through the window suggested otherwise.

She had never looked so beautiful.

Elena was wearing nothing but a loose white button-up shirt and her underwear. Her hair was natural, she was wearing no makeup, and she had a permanent smile plastered on her face. She was flawless.

The lack of contact was agonizing to Stefan. How dare she look so beautiful and alluring and then refuse to be touched? His lips were dying to press against hers, his body longing to cover every inch of hers. He felt like he could not breathe properly. He wanted her, needed her, loved her. So much.

Stefan felt himself getting drowsy, as they had been there for a long time, and his eyes drifted closed.

"I slept with Damon because I'm in love with him."

Her voice made his eyes pop wide open. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"I am not sorry that I'm in love with you."

His heart fell.

This wasn't real. This was his mind playing tricks on him, torturing him.

"I love you, Damon. I love you."

He couldn't breathe, his lungs were burning.

He tried to get off the bed, to get as far away as possible, but he was trapped there, unable to move. She reached for his face.

As soon as her hand touched his cheek, he was flooded with a million memories of their past. Their happiness. Their undeniable love.

"I love YOU, Stefan. You."

"It's you & me, Stefan. Always."

"I'll be with you. Forever."

"I picked you. Because I love you."

"You won't be sad forever, Elena."

"Take me far, far away."

They kept on flowing, like a fountain that he couldn't turn off. Part of him desperately wanted to stop this madness, it was driving him crazy that he was no longer the one she loved. But another part of him was relishing the old days, before sacrifices and hybrids and cures and _Damon._ When they were them. Just Stefan & Elena.

He remembers how they met, their first kiss below the comet, their first dance, the first time they made love after declaring their feelings for each other, the countless number of times they've saved each other's lives, kissing on top of the ferris wheel, the look in Elena's eyes when he surprised her after getting out of the tomb, the Gilbert family lakehouse, everything.

He snapped out of it and stared at Elena standing in front of him, her hand still on his cheek. She looked at his lips, and slowly, painfully so, leaned her face toward his.

No. He couldn't handle this. It wasn't real. It wasn't _fair. _

Their lips barely brushed when he awoke, startled.

Where was he? He was no longer in his bedroom. Elena was gone. Why was everything so cold? Why was it dark?

Water. He was underwater.

Then, suddenly, he remembered.

Silas, the safe, the quarry, everything.

He struggled to hold his breath for as long as possible. He did not want to fall into unconsciousness again, to be tortured by his own mind for the thousandth time. He'd rather bear the burning in his lungs than bear the aching in his heart.

He was starving, like nothing he'd ever felt before. How long had he been down here? Days? Weeks? Months? Years?

It felt like years.

He felt as if nobody would ever come to rescue him. Silas was his doppelganger, they were identical twins. Everyone would believe that Silas was Stefan. Damon and Elena would continue in the blissful honeymoon phase of their relationship, not caring much about Stefan or Silas.

Caroline would be excited for college, not spending enough time around Silas to notice that it wasn't Stefan.

Lexi was back on the other side.

Even Rebekah, who he had formed an unlikely alliance with, was gone, traveling the world with Matt.

He had **no one.**

Absolutely no one.

..

_Let forever drag me down_

_I will fight for one last breath_

_I will fight until the end_

_.._

He could not hold his breath any longer. He squeezed his eyes shut and sucked water into his lungs.

It was excruciating, but it didn't last long. He slowly drifted into his even more excruciating subconscious, repeatedly dreaming of the girl he loved and lost.

_..._

_Somewhere far beyond this world_

_I feel nothing anymore._


End file.
